One morning…..

The other morning, I was buckling in my youngest son so that I could take him to Mawmaw’s.  I just couldn’t help but think about how much my life has changed in the last six years.  There was a time when I used to have to buckle three into car seats and then head to drop to Mawmaw’s and then to work!  It would add an extra hour onto my short fifteen minute commute.  I often got asked, “How do you do it?” and I never really could answer that question.  I found the other morning that I asked myself, “How on earth did I ever do three?”  I guess the answer to both is that I just did it.  I just put one foot in front of the next and did it.  It definitely wasn’t easy and I’m not sure I would do it again, but I made it.  The only answer I can give is I took one day at a time and just made it through each day.  I feel so accomplished some days,  I can’t believe I have made it this far.  I remember telling someone that surely it would get easier (I mean it has to get easier right?)  Well this particular person told me no it never gets any easier.  At any rate I can say now that my children are growing up and changing.  At one time I had two toddlers and a newborn.  Now I have one in kindergarten, one in pre-k and one more that is very ready for school.  Well it has gotten somewhat easier on me.  I have moments when I miss the baby stage, but having kids who can help, is such a relief.  I really think I blocked out all the struggles of getting 3 ready to go and leaving my house by 7:00.  I honestly remember labor more than I can think of those days.  I do know I threatened to have an emotional breakdown weekly.  I know it got rough enough that we had to sit down and seriously crunch all the budget numbers.  We knew one of us was going to have to quit work or I was going to loose it.  It was in those moments that we first decided my husband would try to farm full time.  For us it just made sense.  I know I really wanted to stay home with the kids and that had been the plan originally, but we just couldn’t afford it.  There was no way we would make it on my husband’s salary alone.  We knew my husband would be able to work and earn some money to replace his salary.  I could work and carry our insurance.  Looking back on that decision it was one of the best we have probably made.  My husband has stayed pretty busy, but has been able to set his own hours.  He has been more available to take kids to doctor appointments and to attend school functions this year.  Most importantly, he was able to take the kids to Mawmaw’s.  This has allowed me to save my sanity.  It also helped mawmaw, because she has been able to take some days off when needed.  I know watching 3 kids who were 3 and under wasn’t easy.  This year everything changed, when the boys started school.  My husband no longer has to worry about the oldest two.  I get them up and put them on the bus.  That means all he has left is our youngest.  The baby loves to farm with his Daddy, although he says he is only Mommy’s boy.  Tractor was one of his very first words and he never turns down tractor rides.  I still get overwhelmed at times, with so much on my plate, it would be a miracle if I didn’t.  It hasn’t been an easy road, but I have loved so much of our journey so far.  Being able to raise my children as close to farming as we are, has been a blessing.  One day someone will say to me, “How did you do it?” and all I will be able to do is smile and say, “I don’t know, but I did it.”